♥ {confessional, sweet battle && interrupted thoughts} ♥

sure truth that we all are stitches.

(posted on Saturday, January 1 by eii wyy nae.)

sometimes grief & loss come back & plow right through me, even though i’ve gone through my own process of recovery & healing. the strength of it is shocking to me after all this time. the dreamtime visits still occur, what i find now, after this time is that rather than bringing tears, they can also leave a “sweet” sensation of knowing; that a connection was in my hands & my heart … that mattered … that very much.

i find myself both sad & happy @ the same time. sad because i’ll never completely get over my loss {even if i get to meet someone new} & happy because a new life is coming into the world soon. sure truth that we all are stitches. aching alongside one another. its still a mark on our heart, our souls, our memories. because i know what its like to wake up w/ those tears. & on more selfish days i feel the regret for myself.

i think the worst aspect of the loss is the lack of future w/ that person. but life goes on. sometimes when i’m depressed he seems to bee so close, other times he is in my dreams but far away. how mysterious this grieving often is ...

i cant say that i’d choose to relive all my experiences, but i’m fiercely proud of the woman i’ve become & i know they shaped me for better & for worse. i’ll take the good w/ the bad, just as you all do out there. because i know i’m not alone in living in the past, present & future all @ once. everyone needs a reminder on how fragile life is & we need to appreciate what we’ve when we’ve it. this reminds me of my favorite quote : “this too shall pass.”

~~~

Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.

Labels: dreamtime., fragile life, reminder, selfish days, sweet sensation

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