♥ {confessional, sweet battle && interrupted thoughts} ♥

up with a story.

(posted on Monday, October 26 by eii wyy nae.)

today is the kind of day where staying inside drinking hot tea seemed like the only logical thing to do. it is cool & gloomy & every now & then slivers of sun wearing oversized boxing gloves came fighting through only to be slapped back into a corner confused & bruised as to what just happened. i just could sit in the dark gloomy house another minute. even though it was cold & tiny spits of rain hung over me being there, sucking damp cool air into my lungs watching little kids running around oblivious to everything.

now i’m sorry but with the soon-to-start of november, i need a few days of thinking & wishing & wondering & maybe even some leaf pile jumping & that will buy some time & patience & understanding & long pants.

have you ever lived your life in such a way where everything felt pretty easy & a smile stayed glued to the corners of your mouth even when you were doing the grossest laundry & cleaning up dog puke & then all of a sudden you got sucker punched in the gut so hard with that so called easy life, that in the process of bending over to catch your breath, you lost your balance & ended up on the floor in a fetal position & then decided that a few weeks in that position & then decided that a few days or even a few weeks in that position might not be so sad after all, because if you close your eyes tight enough with your knees up against your chest your breathing wasn’t as labored as when you first got knocked down. please tell me you’ve, please tell me i’m not alone.

~~~

listening to that song makes me feel like the stupidest girl alive. it made me realize that what i felt was wrong & how it would impact my feelings, acceptance in near future.

Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.

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