a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
oh phantom tears run down my cheeks.
(posted on Tuesday, December 28 by eii wyy nae.)
the universe brought me what i needed last night, w/out me even knowing i needed it. one of the DVDs i rented was Stay; i’d never heard of it before but i thought the cast & the film’s premise, looked promising. the film had me guessing the whole way through & i got to the end feeling slightly altered, slightly more open. but it was in the special features that i found the gift. there were only two options : director’s commentary or “Departing Visions”.
the latter turned out to bee a 10~minute documentary featuring a handful of men & women talking to camera & in a group, about their near~death experiences. all their stories had the same theme; the darkness, the light appearing & loved ones there to accompany them over to the other side. the message was, when we die we are not alone; when we die there is still more to come. i dunno what to believe about the afterlife but i so hope its a good place.
i watched the documentary w/ my breath held & tears pouring down my face. i’ve no religious affiliations but there are spiritual ideas & intuitions i carry in my handbag of theories. to think that my love is up there or maybee even in the same room as me, albeit in another form, is to acknowledge that he is gone. this is very hard for me but last night i felt another layer of acceptance descend; i’m chipping away @ the mountain before me & every tiny rock i move makes my path forward a little clearer. sometimes its a huge boulder i heft up to my shoulders & toss to the side; sometimes its a tiny shovel of rocks tossed into the wind but the big & the small, they’re both progress. & yes. messages from the universe all around us, the keys are everywhere when we are open to them. i’m just starting to learn & use this, having believed it for a while but waiting for something in me to shift for the changes to begin.
i felt him in the room w/ me last night. its strange to think that as i stood in the queue in kimchi i was holding in my hand another key from the universe.
~~~
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.
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