♥ {confessional, sweet battle && interrupted thoughts} ♥

which i alone am left to dot the sky.

(posted on Saturday, January 16 by eii wyy nae.)

i haven't been out & about too much. since the weather has gotten much colder & soggy {i've fallen on my bum twice now & have had two near misses} we spend a lot more time at home. sometimes that's hard & the thought of at least more weeks of solid chilly weather takes a couple of skips out of my steps. if i can't even stay on my feet in this weather, there's no way i'm getting on bike. i may not look where i'm walking, but i'm not crazy.

the skies are gray & baby it's cold outside. i'm going hunting for drizzle instructions, heating up the tea kettle & finding little ones to snuggle. these are the kind of times that force us to look for the good {oh. i know it's there} & to make our own sunshine. a skill that is very worthwhile. in the meantime, some of us are darn good at making our own raindrops.

aqui esta el mio, anyways here is my entry : the wind continues to fight me. i glide for a moment, passing but a few rays of sun, it drags me back. i push forward & it shrieks, wrestling what strength i’ve left out of my soul. nothing comes easy since the moon fell out of the sky ~ the darkness embraced me, kept me cloaked & safe. now, there is nowhere to hide. their eyes are everywhere & their claws are sure to follow. even the trees have begun discarding their leaves, rendering me as bare as their branches, leaving me at the mercy of pain’s arrow.

dare i stop for a moment. can i give in to the weakness in my wings, escape the fate of the flock of which i alone am left to dot the sky. they all fell as wooden thunderbolts from below brought them crashing down like raindrops soaking the land in their life’s blood.

there is little choice. even as i struggle to climb further away from the ground, it pulls at me, the weight of its desire sapping my will. i aim for the ragged peaks, talons forward, then fold my wings keeping myself still as the granite upon which i grab hold. if the rocks accept my burden, if refuge is to be found, i’ll carry the song of my ancestors back into the night. & i’ll lay the future of my kind upon a nest of hope.