a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
goodbye little friend called pain.
(posted on Sunday, January 17 by eii wyy nae.)
dear diary, dear bloggy,
in the distance it is there but i can't feel it. i can't see it. i don't even know what it is like anymore. does ‘it’ really exist. will i ever experience ‘it’ again. i’m hurting. struggling. feeling terrible horrible feelings. they’re washing over me as tears soak my shirt. how did i end up on this dark road. why do i feel so trapped. will a light shine through the darkness. or will i be left to my own demise.
here i’m, now what. what am i doing here. how did i even get here. do i belong here. sometimes i‘m not so sure. i shy away from myself, get nervous to stand tall & i put myself down. that needs to stop, right here, right now. what. what do you’ve to say about that. i tried to give you my heart. i tried to show you who i was. you disappeared. you backed down. you’re no longer around. yep, i would love to have you here but it doesn't seem like you care much for that.so i choose myself. i choose to save the only thing i know how to save, i choose me. you might have not, but i did. don't feel bad for me. don't look down on me with those disapproving eyes. i need to take care of myself. i need to lift my head up, look into the sky & reach for the stars.
it's a shame it never worked. it's a shame you ran but here i’m, firm in the soil & planting my feet in the ground. i traveled an immense distance for you. i placed my heart in the palm of my hands ready to give it to you. maybe i made it too easy, maybe i was too fragile for you. yep, i’m a "fool" as you say. who does need someone pretty "unique to keep me grounded".
but i'm not worried about that now. i’ve my head on my shoulders. i’m feeding my heart & nourishing my soul.
i’m here.
~~~
past love can’t ever be changed, it’ll remain in your heart ‘forever & almost always’. but time strips the pain & let all the sweet moments remain at the back of your mind will need to be forgotten. yep.
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae. Labels: dark road, demise, disapproving eyes, immense distance., trapped
contact
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