life can be some messy ‘business’ sometimes & for a girl that likes to keep it neat that can be a challenge. i really want to start living my life like i teach my little nieces & nephews : go outside the lines. don’t judge anything until its finished. move towards what feels right rather than what feels easy. make a mess. don’t be afraid to get dirty. experiment. play. use pain as a tool to create.

i never know what a painting or a story is going be at the end. i just let the source flow through me & wait forthe magic to happen. really the only way i can create anything is to turn off all the voices & outside influences so that i can hear the message clearly. for some reason i forget to do this in real life. i fill minutes & weeks up with worry so i don’t have to look at how i actually feel in the moment.

i’m wondering what it feels like to be in the mess while remaining safe & present. i’m thinking that perhaps i can learn to be okay with not being okay. having a sweet little world all carefully packaged nice with matching bows seems awfully tempting, but at what price does that gift come with.

i choose adventure this time around. i choose stretching beyond what feels comfortable. i choose feeling uncomfortable going where i want to be verses feeling uncomfortable where i’m at. because really, either way, i’m going to be uncomfortable.

i’m getting my butt in gear because i hate being behind in anything.