why do i think goodness is so hard to find. i think its pressed into the corners of life & gathered up in tiny places like pockets & closets. i search for the goodness under rocks & in the early morning hours when the sun isn’t up yet, as if its hiding from me. goodness isn’t in the ordinary or the routine. it is swept into the sidewalk cracks, the creases in folded fabric, the edges of the paper. goodness is hard to find in the world. it seems ... that’s how i live: just trying to endure until the next tiny good moment.

it’s like waiting for the release in a song. but living like that robs me of the in between times. all the sweetness that happens in the riding in the car, in the walking in the woods, in the preparing of a meal. all the goodness in the questions, the listening, the stories at bedtime. i miss it if i try to wait for the tiny & profound. in the searching for the little, i’m missing the big & wide open graces that are here the whole time.

so by the end of the week certainly & by the end of the day sometimes, my “word allotment” for the day has all been used up. i’m not going anywhere but i hope you’ll forgive me today for simply letting you into a corner of my life. no big life lessons. no big “ah ha!” moments today. just me talking to you like we were hanging out at the park.

we are going to travel north on december. in a few days to come, to be exact. & then when i finally fall down to sleep, i’m dreaming of starbucks or blinking cursors. yay. today, i’ll be enjoying a workout with Vanessa @ alai in the morning, packing the car for our trip & chasing after our three-year-old cousin.

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