a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
dear god if i don’t it’s all going to crap.
(posted on Wednesday, November 4 by eii wyy nae.)
there seems to be a theme going on with myself & so many friends around me. we all seem to be thriving in some areas & then completely panicked in others. is this you too? read on. one thing i’ve been playing close attention to is my all-or-nothing-mentality. an old pattern of mine is wanting to jump ship the minute i get triggered or overwhelmed because, “dear god if i don’t it’s all going to crap.”
i’m trying to reclaim these little triggers & turn them into gifts. because really, isn’t anything that provides us with insight the best gift we can receive? i can’t think of anything that would be more valuable to our hearts & spirits. ah, but these “gifts” don’t usually come wrapped in pretty ribbon with matching tissue paper. they come late to the party. uninvited & unannounced. the nerve. it is so easy to take a bad day & run with it. easy to dwell on the thing that is not working & dismiss the many blessings that already exist.
this is the all or nothing mentality i’m talking about. the blowing up of the bad so the small sprinkles of goodness don’t stand a chance. i speak completely from personal experience. i’m not an expert in human growth. i make the same mistakes over & over. i sometimes let the gremlins in to play. but i’m beginning to accept that i don’t know how the story will end. & maybe the magic is right there in the not knowing-out of reach like a lovely piece of fruit growing on a vine outside my window while i sleep.
the comparing & competing & rushing all makes me very tired & cranky. the slowness calms me. the sharing & exploring. small unexpected moments of connection at uni or free flower stand. this is what grounds me. all the other stuff i can’t control.
so if you’re feeling stuck, or lost or hopeful or scared~take comfort in the fact that you’re not alone. our questions & fears connect us as much as our joy & happiness.
~~~
my subconscious mind has no sense of humor, play no jokes & cannot tell the difference between reality & an imagined thought or image. “so take my hand & i’ll lead you through.”, says the boy.
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.
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