♥ {confessional, sweet battle && interrupted thoughts} ♥

the empowered to look away.

(posted on Monday, October 12 by eii wyy nae.)

my playing small doesn’t serve the world.
there’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around me.

i’ve been looking away from myself, trying to be that person everybody wants me to be.

i've been trying to be everyone's friend & a good educated woman in the same breath.

i've tried to be objective despite my own opinion, not listening to my gut feeling.

i've been harsh & patient.

i've been open & quiet.

i've listened, guided, became overly excited to show them the road, forgetting that it is not for me to show.

i've stepped back.

i've stepped forward.

i've stopped.

big things happened in between all of these, but still i did not stop to listen.

on monday morning someone took a big bite out of me. & another. i was dumbstruck. i stepped back {again}, listened, made eye contact all the way through, came home & cried. i comforted myself within the self-pity {so embarrassed to admit}.

~~~

trying to be who i was, trying not to be who i was two years back & not who i am now.

Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.

Labels: big bite, dumbstruck, gut feeling, insecure, self pity, shrinking., step back