a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
i could never have talked to anybody like this, the honesty of letting them know i was sad. past a certain age even my parents & i didn’t talk about sadness. i would sit in silence, my heart wrapped in darkness, never letting anyone see what was inside. i no longer trusted anyone & had no reason to trust. my days passed, layer upon layer of screams that were never heard dying behind my mouth shut tight. my face impassive.
viviendo en soledad, alone for far too long & never feeling truly comfortable admitting any dark or sad feelings thereafter – this was not the emotional wasteland i wanted for my girlfriend, mija. que grita!, i want her to scream or cry when she must, just as freely as when she laughs & giggles. there is a strength needed to trust yourself enough to share tears of pain. at her age i was far more independent & knowing & seeing us side-by-side people might be fooled that i was the stronger. i was street smart {giggles}, she is intelligent; i knew how to hit the ground running, i was savvy & wily; she is self-possessed & mature. she is certain enough about herself & her place in the world that she releases with a confidence i didn’t have. i marvel at who she is & what she teaches me. i am in awe of how respectfully she treats her well being. i am most assuredly great-full that she is loving herself enough to reach out when she needs someone to hold her.
if any of you are in doubt about your tears don’t be. they are a part of you, they deserve to be heard & treated with gentleness & treated with friends who REALLY REALLY CARE. everyone needs shelter from the storm, yes?
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.
Labels: emotional wasteland, savvy, shut tight, street smart, ugly betty., wily
