a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
trails of heart.
(posted on Wednesday, January 21 by eii wyy nae.)
I thought she didn't love me anymore.
It was a tough week for Tillytinnie - one that meant more pills hidden in treats so that she would maybe not know they were there, so that maybe she would just have them swallowed before she knew it. Maybe she'd never know it. But not this week. This week she became the Tillytinnie she used to be - the Tillytinnie who would fight you over a pill.
I knew things had been going too smoothly - in fact, it concerned me, although I silently thanked ‘God & the Universe & whoever else’ might be listening for the ease with which she'd been eating those little things. Even though they were tucked away in wonderful little treats, she'd usually not been fooled. She usually refused. No way.
But this moment in time? This moment in timer, she'd been eating the pill-laden treats as if they were candy - no big deal! But not this week. This week she kinda hated me. She wouldn't even try. She'd just look at the treat and sit back and look at me.
With disdain.
But she had to have the medicine. I couldn't live with myself if I allowed a little pill to get in the way of her feeling better. All of you who live with cats will understand what that meant. It meant war and scratches and bites and more scratches and crying on my part and yowls on her part and more scratches and general misery all around.
It broke my heart. I hated it. I hated how it made her feel more than I hated my torn-up hands.
She would quickly skedaddle outside when it was all over. She wanted away from me.
So I'd give her a bit of time to herself and then I'd find her and pick her up - and thankfully she always let me, although she would eye me quite suspiciously as I approached - and hold her for a few minutes. Rub my cheek against hers. Wait until she started to purr. Sometimes it just took a second, sometimes longer, but in a few minutes she'd want down again, and I'd let her go.
Away from me.
But look at the image above. You can just see Tillytinnie's tail as she rounds the corner ahead of me. And see that trail of hearts she left behind?
She still loves me.
Signed with love,
the diary keeper,‘my charliegirl.
Labels: aggravation, cat, love., sadness
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