a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
the damn damm is dissolving && im flowing.
(posted on Thursday, February 17 by eii wyy nae.)
so ive just spent the last 2 weeks in a marathon pity party. you know the kind of party im talking about. when things are going badly & you find yourself welcoming all the yuck. you get comfortable w/ all the uncomfortable feelings that are surfacing. my party started w/ a nasty virus which kept me up coughing most evenings & laying around most days. i cant tell you when the last time i was this ill. it has been quite a while.
i tried to keep my chin up. i took care of myself & repeated to myself that, "this too shall pass". it didnt. i got crankier. being physically exhausted gave way to emotional exhaustion as well. i gave up. i quite trying to feel better. i put my chin down & sulked. i stopped doing my daily self~healings. i chose to get comfortable w/ feeling crappy & i continued to feel crappy. imagine that.
then the negative self~talk reared its razor~sharp tongue. i started spending way too much time inside my head. let me tell you, there are times when that can bee a pretty scary place to bee. suddenly i was not just feeling ill, i was a bad, lousy friend, lazy bum & a number of other ridiculous untruths. i didnt deserve to bee healthy, i didnt deserve my family or friends. i was gettin' my 'whine' on pretty damn good.
~~~
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.
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