♥ {confessional, sweet battle && interrupted thoughts} ♥

bah humbug! let me in there, give me a santa cap.

(posted on Sunday, December 26 by eii wyy nae.)

ive sat @ this computer & began more than once to tell you about the night, to story you the “storms” surrounding me. sometimes ive told you those tales & sometimes i havent. sometimes they stay unfinished, waiting for an ending, waiting for another “storm” w/ the right words. i tell you so much. & yet, there are things i dont. i find that i cannot. what i would tell you has been said. what ive kept for myself is mine. ive searched the year & find nothing left. so i’ll leave it mostly unspoken, but this : it has been the small moments, the moments when the wind moves a certain way, the mornings i awaken to find adeq’s flowers still blooming.

now here @ home but still blooming when i walk in the door, the moments when silence @ last drops onto the day, that i recall most clearly. & it has been the small moments nestled inside the big events. the weight of adeq’s body when i last held him against my stomach. the world series, that last game, the swirl of red tshirts coloring the ballpark. the coolness of the ocean, the hard rocks hurtful under my feet.

youve read it all, most of this is not new. so let me tell you this moment. it has been a warmish day & my toes are bare as i sit in my room & they are cold. the only sound except for my fingers against this keyboard can all bee heard. my tongue is all a~tingle w/ granny smith apple tartness but my belly is growling for something more. tilly~belle is curled atop a white blanket until i typed those words & now she is up, green eyes the color of those apples staring @ me. she can feel im about to leave & she is right. diana krall will sing christmas carols to me on the way home; i’ll only listen to the slow ones.

~~~

Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.

Labels: ballpark., christmas carols, diana krall, smith apple, tartness

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