a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
who the hell knows.
(posted on Tuesday, November 9 by eii wyy nae.)
its fair to say that during ‘that’ time of my life, i was a mess. eating disorder, panic attacks, general fear of just about everything. such a sad thing, i was. & i remember, on one of our walks, chii & i were talking about our traveling fears. i was deathly afraid of flying. she was deathly afraid of highway driving. she told me, “there is no point in worrying. because you always end up worrying about the wrong thing.”
lately, ive been around some people that are worrying their brains off, their hearts up & down, their lives away. its hard to bee around. especially when im one of those people. not because i dont love them {us} all dearly. but because i think we’re worrying about the wrong things {cant help}. our worries are valid, their imagined outcomes quite possible. but, in this moment, there is literally no evidence that these worries will come true.
when in fact, who the hell knows. & what if i spend a year or five, worrying about things that never come true. how sad. how tragically wasteful. think of all of the things i could have done w/ my time. w/ the heartbeats that pounded in my chest. with the breaths that just wouldnt catch.
bless my heart, these worries feel very real. they are based on stories ive written about my potential catastrophes.
~~~
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.
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