a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
the clock ticks my life away.
(posted on Thursday, May 13 by eii wyy nae.)
i don't get it ... i worry ... i fret ... i drive myself crazy. i want to appear strong, am i a strong person.
i don't watch tv, have no idea even the programs that are on. i don't have much of a wardrobe {although maaa wouldn’t agree with me} but it is what i’m comfortable in. does it matter that i’m not a fashion guru. who am i. i don't know ... or do i.
who could possibly care about me. the real me ... ~ the one who likes to shower three times a day & wants to eat healthy {but loves white chocolate} & read & paint & just plain soak up life. the one who likes to laugh & be silly & do ridiculous things because they are fun. the one who doesn't wear makeup but blusher ... in fact knows nothing about it.
who could possibly love this person. the person who likes to ride her shiny red bike with the basket around town, smiling & waving to strangers. spending split~seconds in the library. who could possibly care about the person who cares more about laughing then about money. the person who just wants to connect with others.
i feel like a stranger in this world. i feel like people don't get me. i’m constantly apologizing for who i’m. the writer, the nerd, the blogger ... who really isn't any of those things, but enjoys them. i love to write. i love to paint but doesn’t draw & i love to take photos, does that matter. but i don't need much, some paint, a journal to write in, a book to read. i’m happy that way.
i’m not good with the spoken word. i get tongue tied & shy. i don't know what to say. & then, i get embarrassed because i want to appear strong. i never want to appear weak. sometimes i feel invisible. sometimes i’m scared. i’m ashamed to admit these feelings, but don't we all feel them. do we. oh goodness. oh goodness.
but sometimes i’m sad. & sometimes i cry. people hurt my feelings & i bleed inside, don't we all.
but who would ever think i that is a good thing. who could possibly understand that the sound of the ocean eases my heart & children's laughter lights up my soul. who could ever understand that i just want to be seen. i just want to be heard. i’m a person.
~~~
love never hurts. never. but you’d.
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae. Labels: fashion guru., tongue tied
contact
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