a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
& then there is the other side of me.
(posted on Tuesday, April 20 by eii wyy nae.)
right now, i’m struggling. i'm struggling with this person in my life who loves me so much it aches. i'm not really sure why. i think there are a lot of reasons why. i’m trying to sort it out & find a better way, but it is hard. i admit i'm having a really hard time.
with all the joy he brings into my life, there are also lots of challenges. lately i just feel a little helpless. i’m pushing & pushing against him which is not helping at all. he just pushes back. equal but opposite.
part of it is i’m pushing to gain control & it's not even about control. by dinnertime, we’re all tired & unravelling & it is hard to gather myself to think like a warrior woman, to show up for him & be his advocate. all i want is to just sit down & eat a calm dinner after a long day. that's what you’re supposed to do right.
he texted me every night & he just can't help it. & i yell anyway & inside i just want to cry.
part of it is i just get so frustrated. isn't that awful. i’m his {whateverhecallsit} after all. it's not about me. but here i’m feeling a little resentful about this heartache on my past i signed myself up for. part of it is we’re so much alike. he is my mirror in so many ways ... in some really beautiful & joyful ways, but also in some really profoundly difficult ways. so there's that.
~~~
Signed with love,
the diarykeeper, eii wyy nae.
contact
if you'd like to connect w/ me via a social networking site you can do so @ : facebook {http://www.facebook.com/eiiwyynae}, twitter {https://twitter.com/eiiwyynae} or via email @ {eiiwyynae_dns@live.com} or {eiiwyynae.dns@gmail.com}.
