sometimes i don’t want to leave the past. but unfortunately time is one stubborn thing. even more stubborn than me.

it is the one thing that god allows us absolutely no control over. we can choose just about everything but to live in or change the past. & we can’t redo the last minute. or hour. i can’t go back to the summer of 2005. or retake the walk baybee royy && i took in school in 2005, as if the sun not setting until ten~thirty at night. i can’t go back.

i certainly can’t go back to the wide open mornings of the same naïve girl i used to be when the most important decision staring me down. & i cannot go back to my first bad choice, the one that almost destroyed my life. i’ve no choice but to go forward in time. & that’s a little scary if you stop.

pay attention to that idea & let it sink in. the three minutes you’ve spent reading this post, you’ll never get back. the sixty seconds i use to worry about being late to school, that is one minute squandered & wasted. not only can i not go back to set up camp on the berakas past, i also should be careful of what i’d with the minutes & hours that i’ve right now. right then.

am i loving. am i studying. am i resting. am i helping. am i using my talents & abilities or am i burying my cash in the ground, hoping it will double in value. i know i can’t go back {& even though i say sometimes i’d, i really don’t want to}. but i can affect what i’d today or tomorrow.

i can make sure of that.