a message for you.
please excuse my dust as this blog site is still under construction.
at the risk of sounding a bit like a nutter, sometimes i think there are too many people crowded into my little head all vying for attention & chattering up a storm, too many thoughts all at once & i can’t seem to find my peace. i realized that recently those voices have quieted allowing my voice to come out stronger than ever before. people have been commented on how confident i seem lately, people who know me well will find how wrong they can be. i haven’t felt confident & capable & well really happy. somehow i know that it is the exercise that helps to ignore things that remind me. there is something about it that frees me, unfurls my wings, calms me & gives me focus & takes away any lingering angst. or so i am pretending to be one.
so right now, i am hobbling around & feeling nostalgic for a bar stool & a long dangling cigarette tipped with anger & over ripe laughter, a scrap of paper & a dark poem lost in a bottle of bombay gin, low lighting & the belief that the major food groups really are a pint of something stale, a drag of something chemically laced & a lick of salt from a damaged table top of tapping fingers slung low over a flirtatious swirl of hair. but i’ll fight my way back to the sunshine walls of my new life & breathe in peace & the reminder that i’ll find my way back to the sweaty push of another day of racing towards the spot inside where the sky meets the earth & i am centered within a thought of beauty’s breath.
& i am writing this to remind myself when i don’t want to lace up those sneakers & head out to fight myself as i sweat & gasp across the miles of pavement that it is so worth each & every step towards finding myself again & again & yet again.
